Why is catalogue shopping responsible for Jonathan Ross's inimitable sense of style? Why might wearing cape and mask be a fast track to heaven? Why does Jonathan wince every time he sees a Hoover? And why did he fall in love with a deep-sea diver? Why? Because this is Jonathan Ross. And nothing is out of bounds when it comes to talking about life as he knows it. From sex and pugs to rock 'n' roll and genital warts, Jonathan holds forth as only he can. This sharply observed, laugh-out-loud, outrageous page-turner will leave you asking just one question . . . Why didn't he write it sooner?